I Am Not Lucky


Lucky. I have a startling distaste for the word. Especially when it is used in the same sentence as “you are so.”

Recently, I moved. If you follow my blog you likely know this from my universal revelation post a few months ago. Apologies for being MIA for the last 4 moon cycles, but I had shit to do.

Having since moved to my beautiful new home – I have been called “lucky” more than a time or two. It’s wearing on me. This is not a slam on those who choose to use the word, but a blog of hopefully, continuous growth for myself and perspective taking for those it resonates with.

When we review the definition of luck…

Luck, (n): good fortune; advantage or success, considered as the result of chance.

For the record, I don’t believe in luck. I believe in Universal Law. Good, bad, or otherwise – what is brought to us in this life is a result of our thoughts, words, actions, energetic vibrations (good, bad or otherwise), which in execution of any of those are transformed once again if given the opportunity – in to blessings (good vibes), or lessons (bad vibes, to be learned from and changed into good vibes – blessings).

What, you may ask, is the difference between luck and a blessing?

Blessing (n): a gift bestowed by the {universe}, thereby bringing happiness.

(In the place of the Universe, you can use whatever resonates with you, Spirit, God, Creator – you do you).

So the major differentiator between a gift from the universe and good fortune by chance – is that you have to have a high energetic vibration, be full of selfless giving, unconditional love, non-conditional release of control and root deep authenticity (to name a few) – to become blessed.

Big deal right? Except constantly delivering on all of the above is FUCKING HARD WORK. And not for the faintly lucky at heart.

It’s no secret. I’ve had some monetary help from my family along the way, so let’s explore that too. How did my family become in the position to be able to bless their children?

Well, my dad left a government 9-5 with 18 years seniority and a pension, to start his own business.

(PS: 75% of startups fail within the first 5 years. He is celebrating 22 years in business). Those 18 years he spent in government, he worked the equivalent of at his own business – in 7. That’s right folks – the equivalent to that is Christmas Day off (only) for 7 years.

Fast forward to present day, he still works an average 60 hours a week, and has a second home in SoCal, drives a Corvette, a Cadillac or a BMW, depending how he’s feeling that day.

#sorrynotsorry

Because - my dad is not lucky either. His unwavering positivity and belief in success, learning from his errors, long hours, insane work ethic, never giving up, his efforts and vibrations were matched in blessings.

And he doesn’t even know how to woo woo.

#godad

So all that being said… we’ve established I don’t believe in luck. But – being called lucky is awakening my inner dragon to the point where I want to snap back “I’m not fucking lucky!” This, my friends, deserves some self exploration if I’m going to loving release that emotion, learn what I need to learn and get back vibing high.

Between the monumental task of moving a farm, I’ve also been travelling around Canada doing speaking events. My favorite talk to do is one called “Taking Care of You – the Importance of Practicing Self Care, Mindfulness and Boundaries.” In this talk, I discuss Dr. Susan David’s research on how society today has no “space” between Stimulus and Response.

WTF you talkin’bout Adelle?

Let me elaborate.

It relates to how in this age of instantaneous-ness we have lost the ability to reflect (space) when presented with a stimulus and we instantly react.

Now: StimulusResponse

Example: Getting Cut off in Traffic (Stimulus), to instant Response “you goddamnmothereffer, eff you and your dog too wtf were you thinking you pieceofshit I hope your car goes up in flames FUUUUUCK!”

Wow. Just reading that gives me a bad vibe. And a trucker swearing belly laugh because I love to swear, but being the actual bearer of those words there’s just no way that would feel warm and fuzzy.

So – what’s wrong with the scenario above is that there was no space before reaction. Because what someone says, does, doesn’t, insinuates, etcetera, that makes our hackles rise – at the root of that – is our core energetic being saying “Hey. What’s going on here isn’t aligned with our core values.” And when we might not be overtly familiar with what our core values are, it’s a compound effect to be able to create the space to react in line with your highest being.

Therefore… what core value might have been crossed by someone who is triggered by this traffic stimulus? Hmmmm. Courtesy could be one. Someone who believes in gentle politeness and courtly manners. Who believes in opening the door for someone, holding the elevator, letting someone in line at the grocery store before you; they would undoubtedly be triggered by someone who does not have the same core value alignment.

With that being said – this is how this traffic cut off should be for someone who is aligned:

Stimulussss………ssssspppppaaaaccccceeeeeee…….. Values aligned response.

Act it out with me now:

*gets cut off in traffic* - “Wow. That really irks me. I can’t believe that asshole did that. Why am I so upset? What value did that guy breach of mine? Hmmm. Oh. Maybe it’s courtesy. Man I really believe in being polite. That wasn’t polite. But you know what – he’s got other values and gifts to serve the world – it sure would be boring if we were all the same. Whew. I’m going to lovingly release that yuck face from my life and get on with my day I guess.”

Ahhhh grasshopper. Doesn’t that feel better? Honestly it’s changed my life, when I remember to do it - and I have been less than perfect with that when it comes to hearing the L word.

Whew! So we have digressed. You still with me? The whole point of sharing this is the basis of why being called lucky invokes my inner dragon, and how I want to learn from that in order to move on - and also help spread my message with the world.

I would be completely remiss if I didn’t take this opportunity to LEARN (lessons and blessings right?) more about this surface emotion. At the very basis, if you remember anything – remember this – ANGER IS NOT A REAL EMOTION. It is a mask of a deeper feeling that is super scary to give a voice to. AKA: hurt, afraid, disappointed, sad, disheartened, scared, frustrated etc etc.

So in an exercise in expanding the space between my stimulus and response, I have taken a look at my values list and explored why for me, Lucky = Yucky.

One of my core personal values – is Accountability. I have worked hard and am accountable for everything I have in my life, including the farm I am so *blessed* to have.

From the outside, I can appreciate how it can be hard not to see me as “lucky.” I have a beautiful farm, I only work at my day job 4 days a week from May to October, I travel, I do fun things with my friends, I relax in the hot tub, I read on the deck, I take pretty pictures, I sit in the barn and hang out with my donkeys – That’s a lot of balance - sounds like the life ‘eh?

Here’s the secret though – the things you might not see -

I work GODDAMN HARD to have that balance. I have to stand up for it and defend it. Balance is not about work and play 50/50 - balance is about having energy to contribute to all parts of your life, work, home, etcetera. Sitting in the barn or reading for fun on the deck almost KILLS ME because I am so guilty I am not doing something productive. Something (work, yardwork, a text response) is always waiting or behind, no matter what I do. Sure I only work 4 days a week – at my day job – but I have like six other side hustles. I do personal coaching, I teach equine first aid, I board horses, I retail therapeutic horsewear and am about to launch a women’s values workshop.

So yeah. I travel (150 sleeps till Palm Springs, and Hello Vegas 2019), but I had to grow to learn how to be accountable for making travel happen. I put money away to travel every single payday, even if it’s $20. I have the best travel rewards credit card I can get and put everything I spend on it to rack up the points (and pay it off every week). If I want to buy expensive tequila – I only do it with money from taking my cans and bottles back. I sell things that are no longer needed. I plan my spending out 45 days in advance. If I want something non-essential, I wait to be able to put it in the budget. Currently on the list for August - is a $180 self cleaning litterbox. Why? #becauseitsworthit

I am the queen of budgeting. But I had to learn it the hard way. Six years ago I went from a DICK situation (double income no kids) to the land of single town. I had to struggle through my lessons (debt) to turn them in to blessings (abundance).

Also yeah. Back to the beginning of this blog. What you see on the outside is that I live on an abundant 80 acre farm in a beautiful exposed beam cabin-y kind of house with a heated shop and a five stall barn. Looks lucky!

On the inside - I board horses to help pay the bills and with the extra equines what that also means is I fix fence at least every second day, I haul water, walk miles upon miles checking horses to make sure no one is bleeding, finding lost fly masks, making sure gates are secure, I shovel shit, rake dirt, clean corrals, move snow, fix frozen water bowls, freeze my fingers putting out slow feed bale nets in -60, spread straw, harrow arenas, cut grass, pull weeds, move trailers to cut more grass, sweep alleyways, level ground (I could go on but this is getting kinda long).

So with all that perspective added, if lucky is the word you choose to use, I’m happy to have you come spend a day in my shoes.

Not for a minute do I want to come off that I have it rough though either. I don’t.

What I have is exactly what I’ve worked my ass off for. Physically, vibrationally, emotionally, my efforts match my rewards.

And for all you out there too – I see you.

Your $250,000 car you drive three weeks a year – you deserve it.

Your mansion by the river – you’re awesome too.

Your $50,000 horse – ride on sista you worked for it.

Million Dollar Lottery Winner – well hell brother! You’ve got this vibing thing BEAT! You’re like my dad – you don’t even know how to woo woo because you’ve got it naturally mastered – I look up to you!

Yes you read that right – even winning the lottery ain’t luck to me!

I call it universal woowoo, maybe you do call it… lucky… I’m not going to put words in your mouth but I hope they don’t come out in a convo with me! lol

So the whole point of this post is…. One - Understanding and moving past my own reaction so I can keep growing and being even more blessed; and two - I really want to make sure that when you are looking out your front porch view to the rest of the world.... that YOU know that YOU have all the power in the world to HAVE IT ALL too…. But that it doesn’t just come by chance. 😊

xo-

A.


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